Feminist - why does the word get a bad rap?

It is International Women's Day, a time to recognize the accomplishments of women in history and highlight the issues that remain for females around the world. We tend to sometimes think only of our own experiences and assume that the cause for gender equality is no longer necessary. Remember, it was not that long ago when women could not buy a home or even get a credit card without a husband and his approval (yikes, makes my skin crawl just typing this.) The future for my daughters is much more open than in the past and they will have so many more choices about how to create their lives than their grandmothers and great-grandmothers were given. And my daughters and I have all of the women who went before us to thank for those choices. As a mother, I say thank you to every woman and man who fought for our right to vote, own property, attend college, the list goes on....

However, lets take a look at issues that still exist here and around the world that impact the status of women:

* Lack of gender balance among those in political power - even though women make up at least half of the population. Take a look at a photo of Congress and watch an interview or two during election season with someone who "just couldn't vote for a woman"... enough said.

* In spite of the phrase "the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world, the role of a wife and mother is seen as a secondary, lesser purpose. Stay at home moms are still viewed as not having a "real job."

* Women (and children) make up a disproportionate number of those living in poverty around the world.

* Instead of teaching our daughters to honor and OWN their sexuality and that it is a gift belonging to them we are teaching them that it should be fostered, packaged for others and given away. We are sexualizing girls at even younger ages instead of teaching them that their brains, talents and personality should be their focus.

* Cultures and religious traditions that consider women second class citizens and not as worthy as their male counterparts. It is easy to jump out side the USA for these examples, but lets look close to home also.

* The international sex trafficking trade- very young girls (and boys) kidnapped or sold into the sex trade. Innocence and a life destroyed. I guess we have gotten immume to horror because I still can't figure out why decent people around the world, governments around the globe, the UN, and every parent out there hasn't risen up and demanded an end to this crime.

* Rape as an act of war. Go ahead and google mass rape in the Congo and see what innocent women and children are experiencing right now as you are reading this blog.

Imagine your daughter, sister, mother in these very real circumstances that exist around the world:

* Girls are not allowed to attend school (read Three Cups of Tea or Reading Lolita in Tehran for real life searing examples.)

* Women cannot cannot divorce (but their husbands can drop them in a heartbeat.)

* Women can't drive a car

* Women can't own property

* Women are viewed as property to be bartered.

* Women can't seek preventive medical care because a man may see their body.

* A girl baby is born but her birth and life are not celebrated because she is not a boy. She may be abandoned.

* A girl has no right to say no so she is married against her will at a young age to an older man.

How does the word feminist fit into this blogpost? Somewhere along the way, the word feminist became a bad word. Women and men are afraid to call themselves one. A feminist is simply a person, man or woman, who cares about any of the issues highlighted above. A feminist is not a man-hating, bra burning scary woman, but a person who feels that women and men are equal and should have the same basic opportunity to shape their lives. Feminism is not about taking from men but about partnering with men for equality for all. What is so scary about that?

Its a small world ...after all

Never fear, I am not going to repeat this phrase over and over again like some sort of annoying soundtrack that gets stuck in your brain. I was just struck again today how small the world really is and how connected our lives truly seem to be. Have you ever discovered that one of your Facebook friends is connected to another one of your friends from a different part of your life, your past, or from another part of the country? And they didn't meet through you. Now of course the world is not supposed to revolve around you, but how the heck does that happen?

Technology has certainly impacted this shrinking universe of ours and we are more aware than ever of the joys, tribulations and challenges of those separated from us, be it by geography or the distance of of socio-economic status. I was blown away to see the stats for this blog and find that it had been viewed (many times mind you) in the United States, Canada, Brazil, China, Latvia, United Kingdom, Australia, Germany, Russia and Denmark. I have never been to most of those countries - so how did we connect. If you are one of those people - leave a comment so I can meet you!

My up close and personal experience with a shrinking world came through the amazing arrival of my daughters into my life. Two babies living in orphanages in China become the light and love of my life and they could not be more my children than if I had given birth to them. I was profoundly and forever changed by this experience. Beyond the joys and lessons of motherhood, I learned that we as human beings are far more alike than different. In spite of differences in race, religion, country of origin, sexual orientation, culture- our human experience and spiritual essence connect us and create more similarities than we sometimes like to recognize. It is a fascinating experience to spend time in another country with a vastly different government system, culture, language and history.... and to have someone greet you with a warm smile, handshake, hug and genuine interest in who you might be. Folks who just want to take care of their families, make a living, foster friendships, be healthy, enjoy life and often help one another.

This transformative experience is why I feel so compelled to get involved with organizations like CARE and am concerned about international issues. It could be me or my daughters sold into sex slavery or not allowed to attend school or born into poverty in this country. Being born in fortunate circumstances doesn't mean we are better than others or get to turn a blind eye to the rest of the world. As my dear friend Cathy likes to say, "there but for one different chromosone go I."

There must be a reason for our shrinking world and perhaps it means we can't claim ignorance anymore. I am not some sort of unusually enlightened person - there are thousands of blended families - children or spouses of different races, religions, political beliefs or backgrounds. If we can combine families in the most intimate of ways, surely we can come together on other issues. In this wonderful country - we have an even more common experience. In amazes me that we can't see our common ground and have become so polarized by politics, race and religion. Disagreeing with a person's political beliefs does not mean it is OK to call them names, demonize them and get personal attacks. If we can cross international boundaries to connect, surely we can do it within our borders. The danger comes from resisting, becoming fearful and retreating into a bubble to avoid the unknown. Ironically that bubble (some call it the good old days) is pretty bland, colorless and dry when you think about it. Our lives are richer, fuller and more colorful when our experiences are more broad.

Think of the magnificent potential of a more connected, caring world. There are brilliant minds on opposite sides of the planet who can now work together and inspire one another. Maybe the skills and genius needed for the cure for cancer or AIDS is in school child in Pakistan or comes from a collaborative project of researchers in the US, China and Australia. Maybe all orphans could find a home. Maybe what appear to be the overwhelming problems of the planet and environment could be improved by combining the energies and efforts of many. Idealistic? Absolutely. Unrealistic...yes by current circumstances. But as the world gets smaller. perhaps just perhaps it could be a future possibility.