Receiving vs. Taking and the Law of Allowing

A good friend of mine recently helped me out in a big way, he offered..I did not ask but had to decide whether or not to take the help. As I dealt with the question to I accept or not, another friend pointed out that even my language about the issue was telling. I was not "taking" something I was "receiving" it. Taking had undertones of selfishness, of perhaps obtaining something that was not mine to have, that I had not earned. Receiving or accepting had a completely different feel - it was gratefully accepting help from someone who, with good intent, simply wanted to help me and make things a bit easier in my world.

I have a hard time accepting help. I am very independent and have been for years. But independence aside, why do I push back or resist when someone tries to help me? My first inclination is to turn it down assistance under the assumption that I can do it on my own, don't want to burden or "owe" someone. I have actually grown alot in this area in the last five years. Life post-divorce as a single mom has pushed me to be more open to accept help.

As I delve deeper into the reason for my initial hestitation, several things come to mind. Is it ego - the idea that I don't need help? Is it a fear of being vulnerable- especially when the help is coming from a man in my life? I try to be a generous person and help out others whenever possible. So why is it so uncomfortable for me to be on the recieving end? The full answer is not clear to me yet but life is certainly pushing me in the direction of figuring it out. Funny how the universe seems to give us what we need to learn our lessons.

There is a theory out there called the "Law of Allowing." One of the premises is that the reason so many of us do not have the circumstances, jobs or people we think we want in our lives is because we simply do not allow it to flow to us. Allowing the good and even the challenges to enter life without judging, putting up walls and questioning why is tough for alot of us. Have you ever worked for something (a new job or business venture, a finished manuscript ready for critique, a relationship) or visualized it coming into your life and then - gulp - when it arrives you doubt yourself or it just can't believe it is real. The Art of Allowing is accepting the success, relationships and fulfilled dreams without the doubt or hesitation. We can allow it because we deserve it, are worth it and our act of receiving does not mean we are taking something from someone else. Maybe I have my answer after all and the art of allowing is directly related to my hestitation about accepting help from others.

The Art of Allowing - may just be what I need in my life.