Best things I have done for myself

One of my friends had a post the other day noting that it had been a year since she had moved and what a great choice it had been for her life. Her post had me thinking about the things I had done in my life, the choices I have made that turned out to have wonderful and sometimes amazing results. It is easy to be hard on yourself and focus on the mistakes..the "I should have done that.." verbal punishment we sometimes give ourselves.

So here is the list, in no particular order, of wonderful chioices. To be honest, some were deliberate, thoughtful decisions that I felt driven to make. Others seem more like a natural course of events.

* Learning to love to read as a child. Many thanks to Sister Mary Elizabeth in the 1st grade who taught me how to read and the many other teachers that I had over the years who enforced the message. I was a serious bookworm as a child - devouring many books a week that I had checked out from the library. In addition to being a bookworm, I was rather geeky in the middle school years and books were a refuge. This love of books created in me a passionate affair with the written word that extends to this day. It pains me to watch my youngest daughter struggle to learn to read and because of the joy I have found in books, I will do anything I can to help her master this skill.

* Packing my car and a moving all by myself from Toledo, OH to Orlando, Fl when I was in my mid-twenties. I did not know a soul in Florida and at 26 took a promotion with the American Cancer Society and began a new adventure in my life. I learned my job and my craft, managed a budget, made friends, gained confidence and learned to stand on my own two feet. I made great friends and one in particular is still very important to me. Those early years of struggle were a great lesson and taught me that I really can take care of myself no matter what. I remember only being able to afford one item and so having to choose the product that is more versatile: paper towels, napkins or tissues!

* Moving to Atlanta in the mid-90s- again as a single woman and again for a job promotion. This time, however, was a lot easier for a number of reasons. I was older, ready for the change and a dear friend of mine who was also my roommate lost her job the week I was to move. So I figured, what the heck- come with me. I thoroughly enjoy living in Atlanta and feel very at home here with wonderful people in my life.

* Adopting my children. What more can I say about this topic except that they are amazing girls and I still marvel at how lucky I am to be their mother. These are definetly the choices that feel the most meant to be...

* Making it through betrayal and divorce with my heart still open...broken open some say is the real description of what can happen when one goes though heartbreak. I had to divorce my ex for my sake, my children's sake and because he did not want to be fully in the marriage. I saw women all around me in similiar circumstances who became and stayed bitter and who distrusted all men from that point forward. Thankfully, I had a wonderful father and brothers so I knew that good men did still exist. It was really a deliberate choice to keep my heart open and keep bitterness at bay. And believe me it was hard at times. I am glad I made this choice and now have a loving, open heart to offer a man.

* Hosting an exchange student...People thought I was crazy of course. The year after my divorce was final, I took in a 15 year old girl, named Jill,from Taiwan for a year. I had the rather idealistic notion that she would help the girls and I learn Mandarin. The opposite happened of course- we worked on her English. The really tricky part was that it was very last minute. She was supposed to stay with a different family- it was all arranged. At the last minute, they were unable to take her due to illness in the family. The original family consisted of a single mom with two daughters from China who were the same ages and from the same provinces as my girls. Surely, I told myself, this was some sort of sign. So it was a fun, crazy, busy year and I think it was a great distraction and filled some sort of void for the girls. A wonderful experience.

* Venturing back out into the dating world in my mid-40s. Challenging, different, fun and at times confusing - dating at this age is a whole new adventure. The good news is that you are more conident and less likely to engage in any game playing at this juncture. And who knows, love might venture into my life.

I will surely have many more choices to come and changes in my life. Here is to hoping that most of them will be as wonderful as this list!