Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Advantages to getting older..or Holy Crap- when did that happen!

Yes, you read the title correctly....this is my ode to the positive things about getting older. Please note that I did not say aging. I am not quite there yet. This is my response and attempt to stay upbeat after one of those mornings when you look in the mirror and say "Holy Crap - when did that happen!!" Ever notice how on the inside you still feel 25 years old, but the rest of you does not cooperate with that feeling? So here is my list..would love to know what you think!

* Confidence - ah, the wonderful sense of knowing that you can handle what may come your way in life- the good, the bad and the ugly. This is built by life experience and actually living through, no make that thriving through the hard stuff - disappointments, loss of loved ones, health issues, workplace politics, rejections and even a broken heart or two. At the time, you may feel like crying and that things won't ever get better..but they really do. After years of life, these experiences turn into confidence in yourself.

* The small stuff really is small.. Man I wish I understood this when I was younger! Again, this is tied to life experience and shifting priorities as you grow, parent, become responsible for others, and watch your own parents age and pass away. Good grief - wish I could get back all of the time spent worrying about nonsense, unimportant things and small stuff. Have a laugh, have fun - everything is not so serious.. If you need a reminder, remember that face that stared back at you in the mirror this morning!

* Knowing your worth. This may be a by-product of confidence but as you grow older, it becomes so much easier to have those tough conversations with others and yourself (yes talking to yourself can be a result of getting older,) stand up for yourself, go for what you want and not fall apart if you do not get it. I know what I am worth and what I want out of life and my relationships. And I won't be spending much time and energy on people and situations that don't match that path or honor my worth. Ever watch an older woman go through a divorce and rebuild her life? She can become quite the force to be reckoned with.

* Time and life are precious. As those years and birthdays tick by, it becomes more and more obvious that time is not to be wasted (see bullet point above.) Remember feeling immortal in your youth and thinking that you had what seemed like forever to figure it all out? Well, you don't. So the sooner you get busy with the process of living and squeezing joy out of every circumstance and each day the better. Sometimes that means making a decision and just going for it!

* Answering to yourself and staying true to yourself. After I rounded 40, my mother told me that an amazing thing was going to happen. You will stop caring what others think about you and your choices and will stop comparing yourself to others. It is really true and has only gotten stronger at the age of 46. Wonder what 50 will bring? I don't have the time, energy or desire to compare or compete with other women. In my opinion, this is something that we as a gender, need to fix overall and start supporting and cheering for one another instead. There is always going to be someone smarter, more beautiful, thinner and more successful than you..period. Spending energy fighting that is pointless. So I work on bettering my best not someone else's and presenting myself as who I am. I have to tell you that it is alot more fun!

* You are smarter.. Maybe not in the IQ test sort of way, but in the abiity to size up situations and people. You have done it many times before. Plus your BS meter is really tuned and it is easier to spot dishonesty, other people's agendas and take care of yourself.

So the outside may no longer match the inside but perhaps the advantages outweigh all of that.

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